Gold 401K

Do Pirates receive a 401k plan? I have so many questions.?

I am thinking about becoming a pirate after college. Does anyone know what there benefits are like, I mean other than gold and pillaging. Vacations, sick time? Oh, and what kind of a degree do I need to fire the cannon, and make people walk the plank?

garh, well i’m glad ye asked matey, ya see, th’ first thing ye be wantin’ ta’ do is go strait to the pittsburgh shool of piratetry, after furthering yer education, rather, downgradin’ ye education, i’d highly suggest makin’ it sweet with a fine young woman or two, seein as how us pirates tend to have long pointless journeys for gold and buried treasure, but often times we be endin’ up not findin any or we be a fightin other pirates and cuttin’ off the scurveys legs and hands and killin their little birds on their shoulders, yes all pirates have birds on thier shoulders, i would recommend gettin one, i went off track, anyway you’ll wanna bang a couple of these loose women before ye become a full fledged pirate, otherwise ye be endin up being a butt pirate, seein as how we be at see fer so long, ye mateys start lookin a mighty handsome after awhile, and that yo-ho-ho-and a bottle of rum song shortly becomes yo ho i’m goin t’ poke ye in the bum song, if ye knows what i be a meanin’!! benefits be fantastic, leroy the ship’s doctor be a takin’ care of all that fancy work of bustin out yer teeth so ye can look especially like a pirate, he works wonders, and only when ye completes moppin the floors and takin’ another man’s life(or virginity, completely up to you) only then can you have the ultimate privilage of shootin me cannons off into the blue yonder, and when ye gets good enough, n sinks me enemy’s ship, then ye can make whomever ye wants ta walk the plank all day long, as many times as ye wishes, so i hope i cleared up any confusion on this matter, and i hope ye doesn’t still think that a pirate is just some guy that dresses up to be in a band otherwise known as the village people, we be far better than that, i can assure you

Silver you win/ 401k you LOOSE !